Dear Friend,

The reason I haven't written in a while is because I thought things would get better, and they did. For a while.
I thought that things would be great after the storm, but the storm came back and I honestly don't know what to do.
I stopped cutting but I started bruising myself. Above my cuts, bruises are all I see. I honestly am so lost.
I really didn't want to get attached but I did, and I thought about what would happen in the future and I just started breaking down again. 
I remember saying, "Everything is so fucked up. " again and again, till I fell asleep.
I can't do this anymore.
I'm in so much pain.
My tears have run out and I've started cutting my thights.
It's stupid, I know.
I really thought everything would be different but it's not.
I just thought that my thighs would have more space to cut, since I'm fat and everything. 

Oh yeah, by the way.
Everyone around have stopped eating.
When my two of my best friends stopped eating, that I could take. 
But now, EVERYONE stopped eating.
I've started sticking my fingers into my throat now.
I don't do it constantly instead when I'm hungry I drink water, but I still get called fat.
I don't know what else to do to lose all this weight.
I just want to be beautiful, like everyone else is. 
Is that too much to ask?

I want to cut again and again.
I just can't take anymore of this...
I'm so sick of everything.  

Your friend,
E.L.E.