Why am I Alone?

I sit in class without anyone to talk to.
I sit in front, surrounded by people, yet I still feel so alone.
I sit in class, and I want to scream my head off.
 
During lunch time, I sit with my friends.
They don't eat, and it makes me kind of sick to be the only one eating.

I see the guy I like...
I remind myself again and again, how it is just an infatuation.
His friends laugh at me.

I see my teachers.
I smile and pretend I'm okay.

I talk to my friends.
Hollow conversations and blank looks are all I get.
I want to scream.

Class ends, everyone walks off with their friends.
I walk by myself.
Thinking of the book I'm about to read.
Contemplating which playlist I should play.
I walk aimlessly.
A few minutes later, I end up at the library.
I sit at an empty seat, open my book, and plug my earphones in.

Why am I alone? I ask myself.

Two hours later, the car arrives.
I sleep all the way home.
I get a text from my dad, he's amazing.
I get home and I see my mom, she's amazing.
I give her a kiss on the cheek and walk towards my room.

Here I find solace.
My haven.
Where I can cry and cut, but still I am alone.

Why am I alone? I ask myself.