The reason I haven't written in a while is because I thought things would get better, and they did. For a while.
I thought that things would be great after the storm, but the storm came back and I honestly don't know what to do.
I stopped cutting but I started bruising myself. Above my cuts, bruises are all I see. I honestly am so lost.
I really didn't want to get attached but I did, and I thought...
Monday, July 28, 2014
Friday, July 18, 2014
Dear Friend,
I've sick for a few days now.
I'm still not better...
Turns out I have lumps in my throat.
The doctor says I have to get an x-ray soon, I hope that it won't be anything serious.
I'm sorry I haven't written anything for the past few days...
I hope you are well.
Your friend,
E.L.E....
Monday, July 14, 2014
Dear Friend,
How are you?
I hope you are doing better, as am I.
Tomorrow I will be going back to school, I hope I could hide my scars from them.
I have 10 new scars and a bruise on my hand.
I'm a mess right now.
Yes, it is midnight and my thoughts have drifted away again.
I guess I'll be crying myself tonight as well.
My nights are getting worse.
My mom told me I should stop watching depressing movies, sadly...
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Dear Friend,
I just finished watching The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and I figured, I would write to you too who knows it might make me feel better.
Good Morning Afternoon.
It's really weird because lately I don't even look out my window anymore.
I rarely know what time it is and I don't stand up from my computer chair anymore, I just sit here and stare at my computer.
I'm worse than before.
I've been gone from...
Stuck
I stayed home today too.
I feel sick to my stomach when I remember I have to go back to school.
The people sicken me.
No one likes me there anyway.
I hate school.
My thoughts are caged and my mind is forced to memorize formulas and derivations.
My mind is broader than that.
I want to study politics and how the world works, not mathematics and chemistry.
I just want to be free from the chains that...
Friday, July 11, 2014
[MP3 LINK] The Letter, Game Over, The Darker Side by Jimmy Donn
I know how difficult it is to find downloads of Jimmy Donn's songs.
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/k-RzYPftba/Jimmy_Donn_The_letter_game_ove.htm...
Thursday, July 10, 2014
How My Day Went...
I'm going to tell you guys about my day...
(lol, as you can imagine it is going to be depressing, but it isn't that sad)
We had our class ceremony, in which our whole batch was in. So, our speaker was a really old lady, she was a Spanish teacher, in her early 80's. She was really slow and she has a really small build. Her hair was glistening white and she wore those old large framed glasses. She...
[Personal Post]
I honestly cannot count how many times I have thought of myself dead.
I honestly cannot think of anymore things to keep me alive.
I honestly would kill myself if I could.
I honestly want to just give up.
Killing myself is the easiest way out as of now.
Everything is a big blur.
I can't go on anymore.
But my family is there and basically that is the only thing that keeps me going.
I have no friends,...
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
There are actually people who go to my blog?
Okay, so for the first time ever, I checked my stats.
It turns out people are looking at my blog!
I apologize profusely for the very personal posts.
But this is just so exciting!
Anyways, if you have any thoughts or things, you'd like to share, feel free to comment!...
I've been watching independent films for a really long time now, and lately I've been addicted to a subsection of indie films. Violent films. Not exactly violent.
We Need To Talk About Kevin
This movie did not only feature one of my favorite actor, he acted superbly as well.
The ending was awesome, and everything just kind of fit together.
I fell in love with the movie, the first time I watched it.
O
O,...
Monday, July 7, 2014
Philippines: Lost in Corruption and Poverty
Bakit kayo nag mamakamangmang sa mga bobong politiko?
Kaya iniimbistigahan ng Sandiganbayan ang mga kurakot na yun ay dahil ang publiko ay pinapanood sila.
It would be the 'moral' thing to do.
Yes, DJ Mo might have stepped off the line a little bit, pero to show off your lavish lifestyle in the midst...
Thursday, July 3, 2014
[Personal Post]
I want to cry, but I seem to have lost my tears.
I don't think I can take one more day.
I keep pushing myself, but I just can't.
My heart is slowly starting to die.
I'm afraid, you see.
If I wasn't I would have killed myself already.
I can't take anymore of this.
I don't understand why I'm so different.
I ask God why I am like this.
My classmates are normal and they have stable emotions.
While I...
Why am I Alone?
I sit in class without anyone to talk to.
I sit in front, surrounded by people, yet I still feel so alone.
I sit in class, and I want to scream my head off.
During lunch time, I sit with my friends.
They don't eat, and it makes me kind of sick to be the only one eating.
I see the guy I like...
I remind myself again and again, how it is just an infatuation.
His friends laugh at me.
I see...
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Broken Strings
I
grab the guitar slowly, as not to damage it.
The moment the guitar
settles on my thighs, I hear myself exhale.
The feeling of pure
contentment.
I smile and place my fingers on the chords.
I strum gently
at first, but quicker as the song approaches the chorus.
One chord after
another, and as the song nears to the end, I exhale again a little
louder this time.
The feeling of...