“The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable-even legally actionable-to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty-lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self image.”
“Western parents try to respect their children’s individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. By contrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the future, letting them see what they’re capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits, and inner confidence that no one can ever take away.”
“Western parents worry a lot about their children's self-esteem. But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child's self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.”
― Amy Chua, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
I am a child of two amazing Asian parents, and I'd like to take this time to just talk about that.
Parenting.
Honestly, Asian parents don't give a rats ass about your self esteem. They don't care whether you get hurt with what they are saying. It's a clear example of 'tough love'.
As a teenager, it really stings when they tell you how useless you are, or how worthless you can be. Sometimes, they call you stupid and a moron.
I mean, my parents aren't exactly tiger parents. My parents allow me to go to the mall with my friends, maybe twice or three times a month, and yes the first quotation is true. Parents can actually say that to their children, to lose weight because we're too fat. When I was a kid, they threw me small parties. Now as a teenager, every year on my birthday, we go out to eat. Sometimes, we don't. It's just the way things work around here. My parents don't have time for us. They both own their own businesses, so when they get home they watch a little television and go to sleep. I'm not asking for a whole weekend with them, but I really love it when they'd ask me about my day and actually listen to what I have to say.
I'm not sure yet, but I might be struggling with depression. (if you haven't figured it out from my past posts) And that isn't really a big deal here. I hide it with simple words, such as I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm sick, I'm just a little tired. And no one really figures it out. Psychological problems don't exist here.
My grandmother is a very traditional person. She likes to do things her own way. Most of the time getting into fights with my dad and my uncles because she doesn't listen. If you think tiger parents are tough, then you should meet my grandmother. It isn't necessarily hard to live with her, but she could be nicer. The matter of the fact is she just doesn't give a damn about what other people think about her. Which is one of the few things, I love about having an Asian culture.
Having an Asian culture isn't really curse. (no it isn't a delight either)
It really grows on you, somehow.
Having tiger parents, I think that they empower too much and try to control their children as much as they can.
Maybe it's the love or their personal strive for excellence.
But after all that we still owe them everything.
Either way, we all know we can't do anything about it.
So, suck it up and smile like nothing is wrong.
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