Monday, June 30, 2014

Mistakes Of Humanity.

9:20 PM Posted by Unknown , No comments
http://life.tumblr.com/post/18393795823/seven-decades-have-passed-since-world-war-ii

We are all mistakes of humanity.
We feel too little and judge too much.
We use words against each other, rather than use words to comfort one another.
We make utilities for war, to stop the war.
We are all imbeciles, don't you see?
We are mistakes.
The only words in our vocabulary are hate, conflict, and war.
We take advantage of others misfortunes, and use money to control humanity.
We are robots. We have no hearts.
We have made a government.
A group of men meant to lead society to progress, but they mislead the nation instead.
Children are born with debt in their hands.
Poverty and famine are the new trends.
Countries, one by one, are killing each other off.
Instead of helping each other, we discriminate and hate.
We are impotent human beings.
We teach children of peace and love, but they are born into a world of war and indifference.

Our minds are being controlled by the media.
When the television says buy this, you buy it.
When the television says eat this, you eat it.
When the television says you need this, you start needing it.
When the television says hate this, you hate it.
When the television says be a slave, you become a slave.
Just for the sake of conformity.

Why can't we all be different and still belong?
Why do we have to leave people out?
Why do we judge too much?
Why are our hearts filled with hate that there is no more room for love?
 

Worse.

9:04 PM Posted by Unknown , No comments
Everything is getting worse.

Today, I saw myself die.
I had an epiphany. Dejavu, if you must.
Dream, vision, realization or any other synonyms you could think of. 

But anyways, today I saw myself die.
I saw myself get jack-hammered to death.
I saw my pale face and my cold eyes.
I saw the dry blood, that earlier ran through my body to the broken pavement where I lie.
I saw the way my legs were positioned when it hit me. Bended, like I wanted to run away.
It hit me right below my heart was supposed to be and above where my lungs were placed.
My lips were agape, as if something incredible was happening.
But it wasn't a special occasion.
It was just my death.

The weird thing is I wasn't really afraid.
I wasn't scared at all of dying.
I don't know why.
The fear faded away.
Like my life was yesterday.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Unattached

8:16 PM Posted by Unknown , No comments
I don't like getting attached.
Because once I do, it's really hard to get unattached.

My best friend is one of those people you could call insensitive.
A cool combination, huh?
The overly-sensitive me and my overly-insensitive best friend.
He is very very very immature.
I am not kidding. He has the mental age of a kid.
Which is awesome because I have the mental mind of an adult.
What can I say, maybe opposites do attract.
 
Every time I'm with him I feel like a kid.
Like I have absolutely no problems, at all.

The problem is I think I might have become way too attached to him.
I'm scared that one day when he leaves, I'll have no one to REALLY talk to.

Everyone thinks I'm so excited about the future, but no, I just appear to be.

Honestly, I'm so afraid.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Not A Love Story (the online crush)

5:43 PM Posted by Unknown No comments
http://brokenlightcollective.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/loneliness/

“Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.”
― Alfred Tennyson, In Memoriam 


The Online Crush

The Story: 5 months after 'The First Kiss', I met him.
Unconventional as it sounds, we met through facebook. (before you start judging, it was through a mutual friend, who introduced us beforehand)
A tall young man with an adorable sense of humor, we talked all night and texted all day.
He sang to me, and made me laugh.
I thought I'd never meet someone I could trust again.
I mean, I didn't want to get my hopes up.
We didn't see each other much, because we went to different schools.
Although, video calls and all night talks compensated for that.
He always knew what to say.
He was silly and immature, yet adorable and charming at the same time.
As much as I restricted myself from getting my hopes up, it didn't work, so when the fling was over, my hopes crashed and burned. Big time.

Why It Didn't Work Out: It's weird but I think likes a friend of mine. Whenever we were together, he would ask about that friend of mine. I was pissed and insulted both at the same time. My self-esteem came from 2% to 0.1% just like that. He made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Like he was the better person. I was discouraged and depressed. To make matters worse, he stopped talking to me altogether.

I don't really know why he is in this list...
We weren't necessarily in a relationship, but the fooling and the douchebaggery just pinned him here. 

The Letter:

Hi,

Good day, friend.
You made it really clear that we were no more than that, didn't you?
So what was that flirting all about?
Didn't you have anything better to do?
Was it no more than just a charity, because you thought I'd be lucky enough that someone like you would settle for someone like me.
I know I'm not pretty and thin, like the other girls.
You didn't have to tell me that.

I wasn't really surprised when you left, I mean I knew sooner or later you would.
I just thought you would explain before you threw me out.
I deserved that much.

We weren't really together for that long, but you sir are an asshole.
You knew I was vulnerable, and so you made your move.
You wanted a real relationship? No.
What you wanted was someone to show off to your friends.
You wanted someone who will shower you with compliments when you are having a bad day.
You never wanted me.
You wanted a gullible girl, who you could fool long enough so your friends would think you're cool.
You wanted a girl to show your brothers, so that they'd be impressed.

And so, I wish you all the best.
I wish you would have better days than I did.
I know beneath that tough exterior, you're a pretty nice guy.
It wouldn't hurt to open up once in a while.
People would think you're more approachable that way.

Again, I wish you all the best and I apologize profusely for calling you an a-hole.

From,
Me

PS: Jokes aside, if you want to meet that friend of mine, text me.
I'll send you her number.